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Diary of a Fat CrossFitter – Things I’ve Been Reading

It’s “benchmark week” at my box gym, whatever that means. I think it means a lot of pain, but I could be wrong. No, wait, I’m probably right. Expect it to be described in excruciating and profane detail at the end of the week. Until then, here are a few articles that have crossed my radar in the last couple of days. I offended Melissa McCarthy so you don’t have to That’s...

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Diary of a Fat CrossFitter – In Translation

Two friends, both of whom I respect greatly, have shared criticisms of a recent post I wrote about a CrossFit class. Kool-Aid isn’t paleo, but if it were, I’d certainly have drunk it. Instead of promising to write a glossary and then not doing it, I’m just going to provide a (profanity-free*) translation. I went to CrossFit on Thursday because I looked at the WOD and said to myself, “Running?...

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Diary of a Fat CrossFitter – At CFSA, they are apparently called “Scotts”

I went to CrossFit on Thursday because I looked at the WOD and said to myself, “Running? Partner metcon? FUCK THIS SHIT, I’m staying home.” So of course I went, because I’m not about to be like, “Wah wah wah, I only do metcons I like.” And of course, there was neither a partner workout or running, and I was like FUCK YEAH, THURSDAYS ROCK. And then the coach was...

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Happy Independance Day!

What an amazing way to celebrate the Fourth. The last time I was in the States for Independence Day, I was in college. Since then, I’ve elebrated as a Peace Corps Volunteer, as an entrepreneur abroad, as a local hire at a U.S. Embassy in Cotonou, in Freetown as the GSO (logistician-in-chief), and now, back in the States as a plain-old-regular American Citizen. Lemme tell you, it is AMAZING celebrating...

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Strawberry Basil Mocktail

Costco’s summer strawberries are out of control. Is it possible to eat a over kilo of strawberries in a week? I managed to get through about half of them by making strawberry coconut ice pops for Jasmine and bringing some to lunch every day, but I got to the end of the week and still had about a pound left. Yikes. I needed a recipe that would be alright with...

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Diary of a Fat CrossFitter – CrossFit is secretly Drum Corps

Thought I was gonna puke halfway through last night’s workout. Bless his heart, the coach was like, “You should do a shorter run for this last round.” So I did, and I didn’t puke, and all was well with the world. Crossfit seems to be about destroying yourself physically, workout after workout after workout.  Short term misery for long term gains. You work your ass off during the skills and...

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Crystal City Farmer’s Market

One of the best things about living in Crystal City is the amazing farmer’s market.  Sure, it’s for rich yuppies who have more many than sense, but I live in NoVa, so that’s basically everything here. Every Tuesday, from 3:30 to 7:30, about two dozen vendors line a shady sidewalk to hawk their wares.  There are lots of organic vegetables, but also artisanal cheeses, breads, and yes, delicious pickles. Even...

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Diary of a Fat CrossFitter: First time Fran

I <3 squats.  And lifting. But not benchmark WODs. No, indeed.  Helen, and Fran, and the rest could take a flying leap off a cliff, and I wouldn’t be upset to read about it in the paper the next day. Monday night, I was the only person in my class. My box holds several novice classes on Mondays, and since I 1) care about seeing my kids on week nights and...