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Diary of a Fat CrossFitter – Crabby McCrabbyPants

If you’re hollering out encouragement to EVERY runner who passes you during the workout, that’s awesome. If you’re only hollering encouragement to the fat chick who’s struggling, well, fuck you, buddy.

Here’s the thing that I think a lot of people forget about fat people in the gym, ANY GYM, not just Crossfit:

  1. Fat is not and should not be a moral judgement (so don’t fucking lie to me and tell me I’m not fat).
  2. Fat does not equal a lack of confidence about my non-fitness achievements. Seriously. I am fucking awesome, and I don’t ever forget it. Neither should you.

Listen, I totally get that I’m the slowest person in the entire membership. And no matter how many new members arrive, I’m still the slowest. But it does means when I’m running slowly, it’s because I’m slow, not because I’m not giving max effort on a workout. If I take a short break between burpees, it’s because I’m likely not going to be able to get back up after the next one if I don’t.  Certainly, I am not scaling box jumps and pushups because I want to.

I occasionally feel like I have to prove that I’m working hard. And I do eventually prove it. To everyone. Because I am working my ass off.

But dammit. I wish I didn’t have to.

Several unrelated thoughts

  1. My CrossFit gym box hods a nutritional coaching program a few times a year, and I am participating in the current round. I will not be blogging it here in detail here because t’s a pretty restrictive program (although designed to become less restrictive when you finish), and I’m still trying to figure out where the fine line between “trying to get healthy” and “orthorexic” is.  It’s a Whole30 writ large, and it’s important to me to get through the eight weeks of the program. If you’re interested in my food choices, holler at me and I’ll send you the link to the tumblr I’ll be using to record Every.  Single.  Meal.  UGH.
  2. Speaking of Jerusalem, the countdown has begun!  We’ve begun the long process of pre-departure planning, arranging pack-outs, and getting ready to leave the U.S. for two years.  I am super excited, but also super stressed.
  3. Grace is walking.  This is amazing and frightening, all at the same time.
  4. My spouse and I have decided to eschew the orgy of pre-departure purchases in favor of purchasing just about everything locally in Jerusalem.  It’s kind of freaking me out, but I’m really pleased that we’re not going to spend a fortune on consumables over the next two months.

5k training

Yeah!  5k!  Holy shit, it’s less than a month away and I AM SO NOT READY.

I’ve been complaining for months now (seriously, since before we left Freetown) that the tires in the Bob are flat.  The damn thing still pushes pretty easily, but not so easily that I want to run with it.  Sure, I could take care of it myself, but it’s far easier to bitch about a problem for months until my husband gets so tired of the complaining that he takes care of it himself.

My husband took the tires apart on Tuesday night, only to discover that one of the tubes is completely destroyed.  I mean completely.  As in, the tube has actually been shredded into multiple pieces and was just sitting there in the tire.

Anyway, we’ve ordered new tubes and a repair kit and some spares, but that’s why I’m still not training outside with the stroller.

That, and I’m a lazy-ass.

Diary of a Fat Crossfitter – Time cap? What time cap?

Post-Helen Theresa
Post-Helen Theresa

The best way to get one-on-one time with the coaches at my gym box is to finish last. I like to think it’s because the coaches are admiring my determination and fortitude, but I’m pretty sure it’s only because they’re worried Imma hurt myself.

My box appears to have some rhyme and reason to its programming, and part of that is testing. How much can you lift? How fast can you get through this benchmark metcon workout? How far do you have to scale the workouts to complete them under the time cap? How much have you improved since the last time you tested?  I’m happy to be done with benchmark week. I could do the last two workouts in the progression this weekend, but I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend snuggled up with my family and my Arabic flashcards.

This week I’ve discovered that I can deadlift a decent amount for a novice. I still can’t do a single goddamned pushup. And I infinitely prefer ring rows to rope raises.

Also, I have completed zero benchmark workouts under the time cap. Bless the coaches’ hearts, they let me finish anyway.

Crystal City Farmer’s Market

crystal_city_market_2
Image courtesy of Crystal City

One of the best things about living in Crystal City is the amazing farmer’s market.  Sure, it’s for rich yuppies who have more many than sense, but I live in NoVa, so that’s basically everything here.

Every Tuesday, from 3:30 to 7:30, about two dozen vendors line a shady sidewalk to hawk their wares.  There are lots of organic vegetables, but also artisanal cheeses, breads, and yes, delicious pickles.

Even … bacon.

Yes, we belong to a CSA, and yes, we have a Costco literally down the block, but it’s really nice to be able to pick up a few extra vegetables on a Tuesday evening without having to trek all the way to the grocery store.

My Writing Process, Such That it Is

Naval-gazing indeed. When Roaen tagged me to participating in a Writing Process blog hop, I couldn’t help but laugh. The only thing I love more than talking about myself is getting to do it on my blog. We bloggers are a narcissic bunch sometimes, but I have really enjoyed clicking backward through the hop and seeing how other busy bloggers manage their work lives, families, and blogs.

What am I working on?

When Roaen sent me this, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about this question. What am I working on? I don’t write professionally, and I don’t have a goal of turning this blog into a revenue source. It’s a side project—a way for me to write, but also for me to stay in touch with many of the other wonderful folks in the Foreign Service community. I’ve been paid to write in the past, and that was lovely, but these days, it’s remarkably freeing to be able to write because I love it, instead of writing for a paycheck.

My only current writing project is this blog. After a years long hiatus (or effective hiatus, when I only posted once a month or so), finding my voice has become a struggle. What do I want from this blog? Who is my audience? And how can I balance writing about the things I care passionately about with the State Departments written and unwritten rules about blogging?

How does my work differ from others?

Oh, meandering me. At various points, I have blogged about studying abroad, the Peace Corps, running a business in Benin, technology in Africa, women’s issues, food, paper crafts, losing weight, life in Freetown, and finally, life at FSI here in DC. Like many in the FS community (officers and spouses and MOHs alike), I have lived a varied and interesting life, and have continued to write as I have done so.

Today, I write about many subjects well covered elsewhere: cooking, CrossFit, paper crafts, life at FSI, parenting, and travelogues. I am lucky in that my job ties all of those disparate subjects together. How can I find community and passionate work wherever I go? How do we Sondjos make our home happy, no matter where in the world it may be?

I love sharing the normalcy of our lives, and I love sharing our grand adventures.

Why do I write what I do?

I write because I love to write. It’s a creative outlet. I love to share. I love telling stories. And even when I am SO MAD because it looks like State is broken AGAIN, I love my job as an FSO. I want people to love everything I love as much as I do. And even if they don’t love it, I want to share my joy and my exuberance, and yes, even my frustrations with the rest of the world.

How does my writing process work?

I draft all blog posts in Evernote so that I have access to them on all of my devices, wherever I am. If I’m not online, I take notes and outline posts in a moleskin, but everything makes it to Evernote eventually. I am slowly starting a schedule (Foreign Service Fridays, CrossFit Mondays, Community Tuesdays), punctuated by regular posts about home and family. Drafts may sit around for months before I finish them, but once I have an acceptably finished post, I ask myself one more time whether it’s a good idea to publish the post as-is.  If so, I copy it into WordPress, add any photos, and schedule it.

The vast majority of my posts are scheduled in advance. I write them when I have time to do so, schedule them, and forget about them. I’m finding that as I write more, the habits I developed when I was blogging professionally are also serving me well as an amateur. The fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants thing was fun for a long time, but I fully expect that future employers (and future managers of positions on which I’m bidding) will read this blog, and I believe a minimum of professionalism will serve me well.

On a  technical note, I use a this editorial calendar plugin to help me visualize my editorial calendar each month.

Onward-ho!

Bridget is a fellow Foreign Service Officer, a mother, and an all around great person. I’ve enjoyed reading her posts from the DR, and can’t wait to read about her life as an American diplomat in China!

The lovely Ashley is a (newly again) mother of five.  I don’t know where she finds the time to write, but she is hilarious.  And now that I’ve met her, I hear all of her blog posts in her actual voice, and it’s even better.  I have loved reading about her family’s adventures around the world, and now in DC for long term training.