I have never felt so good about myself as I have these last few weeks. I’ve finally started reaping the rewards of changing my lifestyle to a more active one. One of my biggest fears about being a parent is that my daughters will turn out like me. Not in an “OMG NOT FAT ANYTHING BUT FAT” way, but in a “OMG I’m 30 and I’m only now starting to take care of myself” way. Not just fitness, but also taking care of my skin, not eating crap that makes me feel like crap, and practicing emotional self care.
As someone who has been overweight my entire life (no really, I never lost my baby fat) with an accompanying anxiety about my physical appearance, I am not eager to pass this neurosis on to my daughters. It broke my heart when Jasmine hopped on the scale one morning and asked how much she weighed. Of course she didn’t think of the answer as positive or negative (she’s two), but the thought that she might already understand that the number on the scale can affect my happiness destroyed me.
Thinking about how Jasmine will see the changes in me keeps me grounded.
I wasn’t active as a child, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to communicate to my kids that being active is fun and just as important as reading, music, and intellectual pursuits. It’s not enough for Bertrand and I to develop within them a love of learning and a love for humanity (their minds and their hearts). We also have to focus on a love of their physical selves and a love of physical activity (their bodies).
When the kids outgrow playgrounds, we need to have already established that there are lots of fun and interesting activities outdoors. And that they can do them with us. I (re)started C25K last week because I want something more concrete than “spend 30 minutes on the elliptical” for the nights when I don’t or can’t go to CrossFit, and I want an activity besides walking that I can do with the kids. C25K (“Couch to 5k”) is an 8 week program designed to take zeroes like your Fat CrossFitter heroine to heroes able to run an entire 5k without stopping to walk.
I’ve just signed up for my first race in September, with the intention of running it with one of the kids in the stroller.
What what’s life without challenges, right? Especially challenges that I can meet hand-in-hand with my daughters.*
*One of my daughters. Probably Grace. Because she weighs half as much as Jasmine does.