Monthly Archives: September 2011

On motherhood, careers, and having it all

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I only talk about gender, motherhood, and families in the Foreign Service with other women. Is that weird? While I certainly have male friends here, I find myself reluctant to complain about the inequalities and difficulties that we face to what I imagine will be an audience made unfriendly by its blind privilege.

Maybe this isn’t the case! Maybe the men I know here at FSI would be thrilled to have an honest conversation about making the Foreign Service more diverse and more family friendly! But I’m unwilling to take the risk of exposing myself as a whiner, a complainer, an angry feminist by having this conversation.

Yesterday, Tales from the Hood hosted Angelica, an international aid worker and mother:

Fast forward a few months, I’m walking around the office with a big belly when I find out that a job I am perfect for is up for grabs. I start asking around and get positive reactions from the people involved. It’s really interesting and a step in the right direction for me. After a few of these positive informal talks I ask why this position is empty:

“The woman that used to chair this group went on maternity leave. She was meant to return this month but has decided to quit instead.”

As his last words echoed we looked at each other in silence. I am wearing large overalls and am but a couple of months away from maternity leave myself. It dawns on us that there isn’t a chance in hell I’m going to get that job. No one is going to say it, they are going to make me go through the steps (written exam, panel interview…) but no matter how well I do we both know that fight is lost. At the same time my husband is interviewing for a great job. The fact that he is about to become a father is irrelevant.

I think about this every day in terms of my State Department career.

Pumpkin granola and a day on the National Mall

PeaPod, you are my new best friend. Not only can I get groceries delivered to my door, I can get them delivered before 8 in the morning on a weekend, which means that I can spend the morning cooking and the afternoon hanging out, instead of spending the morning grocery shopping, and the afternoon cooking.

First up! Pumpkin spice granola! I stuck to the tried and true 2 Peas and a Pod for this first-time-in-America batch. The recipe makes about 5 cups.

Second up! Pumpkin chocolate chip granola bars! Again, sticking to the tried and true.

Both of the recipes can be made without applesauce. For the granola, just up the pureed pumpkin. For the granola bars, substitute chopped apple that’s been simmered in sugar and cinnamon, and up the pureed pumpkin. I also added almonds to each to increase protein.

Third up! Delicious lunch. Roast beef on Russian bread, Granny Smith apples with almond butter, Baked Lays, string cheese, and some sort of pumpkin pastry I got from Whole Foods. Every lunch should be this delicious.

After eating, Bertrand and I headed out to the National Mall to get our sightseeing on.

We spent a few hours just wandering.

Dinner was a creamy lemon asparagus chicken pasta … thing. It was delicious, but the recipe needs some tweaking before I post it. Happy Labor Day!

Grocery dilemma. Where to shop in NoVa and DC without a car?

Moving to DC without a car has been marvelous. We walk everywhere! Including the closest grocery store, which is a mile away. Oh, Harris Teeter, you are wonderful, but how can you possibly not carry rice vinegar?

When my husband and I lived in Benin, we were broke-ass cheap-asses. We agonized over every dollar spent (except at Happy Hour, strangely enough) and got used to living frugally. Now we live in souless Crystal City, where stores are aimed at a demographic that has an expense account and lives off of per diem.

Harris Teeter is not only a mile away, but sells food at Whole Foods prices, without the whole “it’s organic so it’s OK that it costs an arm and a leg” cachet. Did I mention that it’s a mile away?

Somewhat closer is Costco. Costco is heaven, but you have to buy food in bulk and if you need anything weird, you’re outta luck. No rice vinegar their either. Also no pumpkin pie spice. I can, however, buy a packet of 48 string cheeses and kilos and kilos of strawberries. SCORE!

We can take the metro into The City and brave the crowds at Trader Joes for more reasonable prices, but waiting 45 minutes in a checkout line that wraps around the store is not my idea of a good time.

Today, I went to Clarendon to see what Whole Foods had to offer. I thought the sticker shock when I came back to the States was rough, BUT HEY WHOA. Whole Foods is not worth having to change metro lines in Rosslyn. Sorry lovers of organic food, I just can’t justify the time and expense.

Our last and final attempt at keeping the fridge stocked is PeaPod. Yes, we’ve given in and tried grocery delivery. It’s free for the first two months, and then we’re moving back to my parents’ for my maternity leave anyway.

I know, I know, we’ve turned into souless yuppies. My friends, not having to trek a mile and back four times a week to keep up with my need for fresh produce is well worth it. I’ll let y’all know how it goes tomorrow!

Hi, my name is Theresa, and I am back!

I stopped blogging here at himynameistheresa when I found out that I’m pregnant. Six months in, I’m back in the States, enjoying DC as a foodie city, cooking up a storm, and wondering why I ever left!

There are a lot of reasons, actually, mostly having to do with Judgey McJudge Judgers. You know, those people who think they have the right to tell me that I’m going to be a Bad Mother and Irreparably Harm The Fetus if I dare drink coffee, eat soft cheese, or have half a glass of wine. And then there are those folks who tell obese pregnant women not to diet while they’re expecting, but hey, fat lady! You shouldn’t gain too much weight either!

Is calorie counting while I’m pregnant unhealthy? What about walking several miles a day? What about starting a running regimen? What happens when I get tired of following all of the ridiculous rules that society imposes on pregnant women?

Telling myself and the world that the baby will be born fine with or without my help should not be a revolutionary act. My girlfriends should not blink when I order half a glass of wine with dessert, and then tell me hells yeah! That’s awesome! Because I’m courageous enough to brave public opinion. Drinking coffee is not revolutionary. Eating deli meats is not revolutionary. Having sushi is not revolutionary.

I stopped blogging because I didn’t want to expose myself, my husband, and Lucky* to public censure on teh Internets. Now that I’ve spent a few months back home, I’ve realized how impossible it is to avoid judgement.

Haters gonna hate.

So I’m back! Check back tomorrow for granola, granola bars, and delicious coffee creations!

* not it’s real name, but “Lucky” is better than “the fetus” or, God forbid, “Peanut”.