Franklin: Meow! (Wakeupwakeupwakeup!)
Theresa: Shut the hell up, you stupid fucking cat!
Franklin: Meow! (No you shut up! Wake up and play with me! Play! Play!)
Theresa: *pushes cat off bed*
Franklin: *thinks it’s a game, jumps back on bed, bites Theresa’s nose* Meow! (This is fun!)
Theresa: *throws cat off bed* I’m fucking going to drown you.
Franklin: Meow! (Is that a new fun game?) *bites Theresa’s toes*
Theresa: Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck. *rolls out of bed* I’m going to shower.
Franklin: Meow! (Okay, but after that, can we plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?)
Every day. Every single fucking day. I don’t need an alarm clock. I have a stupid fucking kitten who doesn’t understand that when Maman is an idiot and stays up too late chatting with a friend, she needs a little bit more sleep the next morning. That on top of the weird and scary dreams I’ve been having lately all adds up to one cranky Theresa.
Go ahead. Push one of my buttons this morning. I fucking DARE you.